Do Budgets Make You Cringe? Me, Too!

This week, we’ve been talking about embarking on the journey of financial self love, specifically after a financial trauma, such as divorce or becoming a widow. So far, we looked at clarifying values and assessing what’s important to you. We talked about how, if you’re in the midst of a midlife transition, while it may not feel like it, your life is like a blank slate, which is awesome, yet can be scary at the same time.

Do Budgets Make You Cringe

I feel I should be more clear in that this isn’t a Step 1 - 2 - 3 list and you’re done. It’s a process, there isn’t a specific time frame and you’ll probably find yourself moving in and out from one area to the other.

Sometimes we need to go back again and look at our values and then review again what’s truly important to us with a fresh look. It’s all perfectly OK. Allow yourself to experience it all naturally without forcing the issue. It took me three years to get clear.

You’ll find that you’ll start making small breakthroughs which will lead to bigger ideas and you’ll uncover things about yourself that have been hidden for decades. This, my friend, is part of the rediscovery process to finding your true self AND you’ll also find that you’ll make adjustments over time.

Ugh! Budgets Make Me Cringe

Sounds strange coming from a personal finance professional, right? It’s true, though. There is something psychological about the word ‘budget’ that absolutely makes me cringe. I think it’s because it triggers a time in my life when I was a single mom of two very little boys and getting sporadic or no child support.

Money was tight, so for me, the word budget sounds restrictive, cheap and gives the impression that in order to build financial security, you have to live a restrictive lifestyle.

I don’t believe in drastic restrictions. It’s similar to dieting. When you’re too restrictive with your food and calories, many people go right back to their previous habits because they’ve been deprived. Designing your money story is the same.

Seriously, life is too short to eat rice and beans while you’re creating your financial security.

 The reality is that, regardless of how we feel about budgets, we still need a plan to get from A to B to be able to enjoy life. After all, this is about designing your money story for a life you love.

So, Let's Call it This Instead

In a Fear.less Spending Plan, you decide where your money goes
rather than your money telling you where it’s going.

You’re the one in control. You call the shots, not your money. No more deprivation, it’s about priorities based on your values.

No more fear of looking at your online banking or leaving envelopes of unopened bank statements on the kitchen counter.

No more wondering how you’re going to take that trip to Paris you’ve always dreamed of or how to buy the grandkids holiday gifts.

And lastly, we start to shed the stigma from past deprivation and shame.

How does that sound for a difference between a budget and a fear.less spending plan?

Is it going to take some time? Yes. How much time? It all depends. There is no right or wrong amount of time. It all depends on where you are right now, emotionally and financially. All that matters is that you get started.

I’ll see you next time.

Patty Bonsera is a former Securities Trader who became a Financial Wellness Advisor to support midlife women asking, "What's next?" In an industry built for men, she founded Fear.less Girl Financial as a better way to help you feel confident and beautiful about your finances and to celebrate midlife with soulful abundance. She will coach you, teach you, and celebrate with you every step of the way.