Cucumbers or Zucchini? Part 2

In Cucumbers or Zucchini - Part 1, we talked about how while standing in the produce aisle for 20 minutes choosing between cucumbers and zucchini doesn’t seem like a big deal, it absolutely is a reflection of the overwhelming self-doubt that has taken over our lives after divorce. We question every single decision we ever made as an adult and we talked about six ideas and tips to get you started on moving forward.

The biggest takeaway from Part 1 is that before you do any decision-making, it is so important to create your self-care environment. Perhaps a beautiful bouquet of freshly-picked flowers on the table, your favorite beverage (maybe a cup of freshly brewed coffee or tea or perhaps a glass of your favorite wine) and your favorite lit candle.

Senses such as taste, with our favorite foods and beverages, and smell with flowers, maybe lilacs,  vanilla, lavender bring about inner calm, allowing us to think more clearly.

Most importantly, to realize that decisions are merely making a choice among alternatives and what is past is past. It’s time to move forward.

Today, we’re going to continue our series with several more ideas and tips to help you move beyond self-doubt and into decision-making confidence.

Once you have committed yourself to your decision then go with it whole-heartedly, let go of all the “what ifs” and do not bother yourself anymore.

We can spend our whole lives thinking “what if.” What if this happens or that happens as a result of this decision? What if I’m wrong? Well, what if you’re right? At some point, we have to just let go of the ‘what if’ that leans toward the negative and pivot it toward the positive.

Visualize your decision in your head and follow it through in your mind.

Visualization is so powerful, it’s almost difficult to describe. While I don’t get to do this often (since I live near the mountains) one of my favorite things is to be on a beach at sunrise, with my eyes closed, listening to the waves comes up on the shore. 

It allows my mind to relax to the point where I can feel myself becoming open to so many possibilities regarding the decisions I need to make. When I can’t get to the beach, I have an oceans app on my phone and create a similar visualization experience. While not quite the same as actually standing on the beach, it’s close enough for now.

Put faith in your ability to make a successful decision and your ability to follow it through.

You are so much stronger and braver than you feel right now. Think back to the times before all this happened. You were full of moxie and assurance. While you may not be feeling it right now, that woman is still there and just waiting to emerge again. 

Base your decisions on what is right or feels the right thing to do.

You know that nagging feeling you get in the back of your mind when something just feels right or doesn’t feel right? There’s definitely something to be said for women’s intuition and it’s not to be taken lightly.

To wrap up,  these are a few of my favorite ideas I wanted to share with you if you’re feeling stuck in your decision-making, especially when it comes to money decisions after divorce. It can be scary, I know, I’ve been there, too. I also know you can get unstuck and move past overwhelming self-doubt to confidence. That’s not to say self-doubt won’t creep back in from time to time. It always does. However, you will have the confidence to move forward anyway.

Until next time.

Patty Bonsera is a former Securities Trader who became a Financial Wellness Advisor to support midlife women asking, "What's next?" In an industry built for men, she founded Fear.less Girl Financial as a better way to help you feel confident and beautiful about your finances and to celebrate midlife with soulful abundance. She will coach you, teach you, and celebrate with you every step of the way.