Begin Your Financial Self-Love Journey

As we continue our topic of financial self-care and healing from financial trauma, how do we begin this self-love journey and repair our relationship with money? I believe we have to start with clarifying our values and then move forward from there.

For example, were you taught as a child (and perhaps still believe today) that money is the root of all evil? I know I was. My parents didn't know anything different.

Money Values

This is one of the biggest lies that many children are taught from well-meaning parents and take on as a personal value. For many years, I thought that having money was wrong and evil. In all transparency, I didn’t have my first Bible until I was 31 and looked it up myself.

Growing up in the Catholic Church in the 60’s and 70’s, we weren’t given Bibles nor did we read scripture in Sunday school class. It wasn't until my dear, sweet friend, Marsha, sent me an NIV Bible as a gift when I started attending a non-denominational church right about the time I turned 31.

However, whether you believe in the Bible or not isn’t the issue. The Bible doesn't say that money is the root of all evil.

On the contrary, 1 Timothy 6:10 (NIV) says, “For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.”

And the King James version says, “For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows."

It says 'the LOVE of money...' This is a HUGE difference in values because the reality is that money is an important tool in our daily lives. Yet, coveting money for money’s sake (think Ebenezer Scrooge from A Christmas Carol), is the love of money.
When I talk with women about their money values, I can hear a lot in their voices about how comfortable they feel in this topic and in many cases, much of it stems from this idea of ‘money is the root of all evil.’

Girlfriend, if you’re trying to recover from financial trauma, such as divorce or widowhood and your core value (whether you realize it or not) is that money is the root of all evil, it’s time to shed that old belief and start telling yourself a new money script.

How Do We Transition to a New Money Script?

It’s a process that starts whether our basic physiological needs, such as air, food, water, shelter and sleep are met. What are we telling ourselves about where we live and the food we buy? How do we feel? Are we content, comfortable or anxious?

Do we feel it’s not enough or too much? One of the principal’s I strongly believe in is to prosper where you are planted. However, I don’t believe it means that you settle. There is a big different between being content and settling. 

You are where you are for a season and a reason, and that doesn't mean you have to stay there. And I know it’s hard to see it, especially when you’re in the middle of financial trauma. You will get through this, I believe in you!

This is why journaling is so important so that you can record your feelings as you move through this process of creating a new money script and to clarify your values.

Next time, we’re going to talk about assessing what’s important to you.

In the meantime, what values do you need to clarify?

Patty Bonsera is a former Securities Trader who became a Financial Wellness Advisor to support midlife women asking, "What's next?" In an industry built for men, she founded Fear.less Girl Financial as a better way to help you feel confident and beautiful about your finances and to celebrate midlife with soulful abundance. She will coach you, teach you, and celebrate with you every step of the way.